Pirate Jokes

I had fun today......I posted these on FB.

====================================

If you’ve got a deck, today would be a good day to swab it.
===================================

A pirate with an eye patch seemed down at a bar. The bartender asked, "What's wrong?" The pirate replied, "Arrrgh, they wanted me to be a teacher... but I only had one pupil!"
==================================
 On a scale from 1-10 I rate cherry pie an 11!
That's my famous "pie rate" joke!
==================================

One pirate said to his fellow crewmate, "Arrrgh, that be a fine looking hook and peg leg ye got for ye'self!"

The pirate replied, "I should think so, it cost me an arm and a leg.
==================================

 A pirate and his crew were busy plundering a ship. When he entered the captain's quarters, he saw the captain hunched over a table, obviously deep in thought. When the captain didn't move, the pirate came closer with cutlass raised, but stopped short when he noticed that the captain was involved in a game of chess ... with a parrot! The pirate watched for a few seconds, and soon the captain made a move. "Good move! Good move!" the parrot cried, "Nice! Nice!"

Well, needless to say, the pirate was quite impressed. "Arrgh, matey! That be quite the talented parrot ye be playin' against thar," he said.

The captain looked up at the pirate, somewhat startled, as he had been so involved with the game that he had not noticed the tar standing there. "Ahh, he's not so smart," he replied, "I've beaten the blighter two out of three."

"So what would the bird do if ye made a blunder?" asked the pirate.

"Somersaults," was the quick reply.

"Somersaults?" the pirate said, "That be incredible! How many would it be doin' then?"

"That would depend on how hard I slap him." (Bah-dum-dum)
=====================================

 A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
======================================

Here we go again:

what type of sock does a pirate wear?
Arrrrrrrrgyle.
======================================

 A pirate walks into a bar with the steering wheel of a ship in his pants
The bartender says, "Mate, ya got a steering wheel in your pants" to which the pirate replies "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
=====================================
 What did the pirate say to man who insulted him?

I know you ARR, but what am AYE?!!!!
====================================

How do pirates know that they are pirates?

They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
====================================

Scurvy joke time me hearties - where's your buccanears?

Wait for it -

~~~~~behind your buccaneyes - oh arrrrr gud un

(I stole this joke from a friend's post....just so you know....hehehe) 
====================================